also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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