I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
