I understand why you refuse to be sober now
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
