the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
its not stalking. its research.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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