I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
