Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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