the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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