He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
i now understand why vodka
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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