Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
