he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
