Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
