you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
