I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
too bad you live with your parents still
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
