And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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