Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
