I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
