I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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