oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
