I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
