i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize