i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
