i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
