Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize