I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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