he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
We had to coat check the pizza.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
