In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
True strength comes from lack of pants
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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