Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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