she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
