sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
