How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
so explain again why im purple
no
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Randomize
