Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
