Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
