You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
well you can't waste a boner
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
FUCK WHALES
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
