i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
