dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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