hotel room ftw
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
