gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
