Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
