were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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