come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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