Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
