There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize