youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
