We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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