Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
