Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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