Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
