she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Terrible idea I love it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
