Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Randomize
