just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Someone signed my nipple.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
