All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
