Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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