Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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