She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
