If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
