I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
