i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
