Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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