you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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