I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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