Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
