your parents love me but you hate me
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
