I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
