She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
